I woke up this morning with a bright thought concerning those Christians that might generally be branded as “nice” and those Christians typically branded as “not-nice”.

I am speaking very generally here but the not-nice Christian cahoot (which I broadly align with) tend to be blunt speaking, dogmatic in their beliefs, whose theology puts significant store on things like sin, repentance and judgment, and are anti-woke, non-inclusive, pro-nationalist, right/far-right. The nice lot, on the other hand, are quite the opposite and are deemed as being more acceptable to society as a whole. Often they hold the other in mutual contempt (even though it is wrapped in cultural courtesy), which seems to throw out of the window any idea of Christian unity that involves both camps.

I had a further bright idea, and that was to elaborate by way of (this) blog and then another. In order to save me work and to get a presumably neutral take on these issues, I asked AI to help me:

I asked AI:

Christians are supposed to be nice. What makes a nice and a non-nice Christian?

AI responded:

Christians have the same range of personalities as everyone else — the label doesn’t auto-install “nice mode”. The difference between a “nice” vs “non-nice” Christian usually comes down to how they live out what Jesus actually taught, not just what they say they believe.

What makes a “nice” Christian, biblically speaking:

Fruit of the Spirit: Galatians 5:22-23 lists love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. If those show up in how they treat people, that reads as “nice”.

Golden Rule in practice: “Do to others as you would have them do to you” – Luke 6:31. Plus “love your neighbor as yourself” – Mark 12:31.

Humility over judgment: Matthew 7:1-5 “Why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye… first take the plank out of your own”. Nice Christians tend to lead with self-awareness, not finger-pointing.

Grace under pressure: 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 — love is patient, kind, not rude, not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs. That’s the vibe.

Service without scorecards: Matthew 25:35-40 — feeding the hungry, welcoming the stranger. Nice looks like action, not just theology.

What makes a “non-nice” Christian:

Major on minors: Matthew 23:23 — Jesus called out Pharisees for tithing mint/dill/cumin but neglecting justice, mercy, faithfulness. Obsessing over rules while missing people = not nice.

Weaponized scripture: Using Bible verses to win arguments, shame people, or feel superior. 1 Corinthians 13:1 — “If I speak in tongues… but have not love, I am a noisy gong.”

Hypocrisy gap: Saying one thing Sunday, doing another Monday. Jesus reserved His harshest words for religious hypocrites – Matthew 23.

Lack of empathy: James 2:15-16 — “If a brother or sister is poorly clothed… and you say ‘Go in peace, be warmed’ without giving them what they need, what good is that?”

Tribalism: Treating people inside the group well, people outside as enemies. Jesus told the Good Samaritan story precisely to break that – Luke 10:25-37.

Key distinction: Jesus summarized the whole Law as “Love God, love neighbor” – Matthew 22:37-40. A nice Christian filters everything through those two. A non-nice Christian often filters everything through being right, being in control, or being seen as righteous.

Paul put it bluntly in 1 John 4:20: “Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar.”

So the difference isn’t denomination, Bible knowledge, or church attendance. It’s whether love shows up in behavior toward Bill, toward the referee, toward the person who cut you off in traffic.

C.S. Lewis summed it up: “Don’t shine so others can see you. Shine so that through you, others can see Him.”

What prompted the question — run into a few non-nice ones lately, or just Bill being Bill again?

I answered AI:

I have a theory that nice Christians appear to do the things you say they should but are woke, doctrinally wishy-washy, hate Donald Trump, love Barack Obama and plot behind your back, yet are polite to your face. The non-nice ones tend to do the opposite, although are arguably the equal to the nice ones when loving one’s neighbor etc.

AI further responded:

Ah, so your theory is basically: “Nice = two-faced + left-leaning” and “Non-nice = blunt + right-leaning”.

I get where that comes from. People do notice those patterns. Let’s unpack it without the halo or pitchfork:

Why the theory feels true sometimes:

Politeness ≠ kindness: You can be smiling to someone’s face while undermining them. Jesus called that out: “These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me” – Matthew 15:8. That’s hypocrisy, and it exists across the political spectrum.

Tribal markers get confused with holiness: In 2026, “woke”, “Trump”, “Obama” have become shorthand for whole value systems. So people assume:

Progressive politics → must be “nice” publicly but resentful privately

Conservative politics → must be “blunt/rude” but at least honest

Conflict styles differ: Some people avoid direct conflict and call it “nice”. Others confront directly and call it “honest”. Culture war stuff mapped onto Christianity means the “Minnesota nice” progressive Christian vs the “tell-it-like-it-is” conservative Christian becomes a stereotype.

Where the theory breaks down:

Jesus wasn’t partisan: He ticked off both religious conservatives and religious progressives of His day. Pharisees got “whitewashed tombs” – Matt 23:27. But He also told the rich young ruler to sell everything – Mark 10:21. Doesn’t fit neatly left/right.

Fruit vs branding: Galatians 5 doesn’t say “the fruit of the Spirit is voting record”. It says love, joy, peace, patience, kindness… You can find Trump-loving Christians who are quietly generous, and Obama-loving Christians who give you their spare room. You can also find the opposite.

Plotting ≠ politics: Backstabbing happens in every church split since Acts 15. It’s a character issue, not a ballot issue. Judas kissed Jesus and sold Him out. Super polite. Super not nice.

Blunt ≠ godly: “Speaking the truth in love” – Eph 4:15 requires both parts. Just “speaking the truth” without love is what Paul called a “clanging cymbal” – 1 Cor 13:1. Being abrasive isn’t automatically righteous.

A cleaner test than politics:

Nice: Do they treat you with dignity when you have no power, disagree with them, and can’t benefit them?

Non-nice: Do they only respect people who agree or who are useful?

That cuts through the Obama/Trump proxy.

Truth is, there are 4 types, not 2:

Genuinely kind + progressive

Genuinely kind + conservative

Passive-aggressive + progressive

Aggressively rude + conservative

Your theory is picking up on #3 and #4 because they’re loudest and most annoying.

The Bible’s take: God judges the heart – 1 Sam 16:7. We can’t see it, so we’re told to look at fruit, not bumper stickers.

Curious — is this theory coming from personal experience with church folks, or more from watching the culture war play out?

I then responded:

Both! I’d much rather a person be truthful, honorable and blunt and as a result be ostracised for not being nice than being the opposite and accepted by the crowds for going along with them, which is often what happens. Btw, C.S. Lewis was right, but he often was!

AI then summed it all up:

Yeah, I hear you. There’s something deeply respectable about someone who’d rather be ostracized for truth than applauded for a lie.

Lewis really did nail it: “Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.” And also: “Of all bad men, religious bad men are the worst.” He had no patience for pious duplicity.

Why blunt + honorable beats fake-nice:

You know where you stand: Proverbs 27:6 — “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.” A straight shooter might sting, but you’re not guessing. Passive-aggression keeps you paranoid.

Jesus was blunt: He called Herod a “fox” – Luke 13:32, told Peter “Get behind me, Satan” – Matt 16:23, and flipped tables in the temple. He wasn’t running for Mr. Congeniality. He was running for truth.

Fake nice corrodes trust: Paul warned about people “having a form of godliness but denying its power” – 2 Tim 3:5. Churches and friend groups die faster from hidden resentment than from open disagreement.

Honor costs something: Being ostracized for truth is the pattern of most prophets. Jeremiah got thrown in a cistern. Daniel got the lions. Jesus got a cross. “Nice” people rarely get crucified — they get committee seats.

The trap on the other side: 

Blunt without love just becomes cruelty with a Bible verse attached. Lewis also wrote: “The rule for all of us is perfectly simple. Do not waste time bothering whether you ‘love’ your neighbor; act as if you did.”

So the gold standard isn’t “nice” or “blunt”. It’s truthful + honorable + loving. That combo gets you ostracized by both tribes sometimes — too gracious for the hardliners, too truthful for the people-pleasers.

Ephesians 4:15 threads the needle: “speaking the truth in love”. Cut either half and you’ve got a problem.

Sounds like you’ve seen the damage when churches reward image over integrity. That stings. It’s why Amos 5:21-24 has God saying “I hate your religious festivals… but let justice roll on like a river.” He’d rather have raw honesty than polished hypocrisy.

You dealing with a specific “nice” situation right now, or just tired of the pattern? And Bill still not talking, I assume

Finally, my take on AI:

Anyone reading the above exchange, unfamiliar with AI, may be taken aback by how insightful and often apt AI’s comments are. I have little doubt the thoughts recorded above could be brought to bear the next time I deal with a nice versus not-nice Christian confrontation. But that is not the end of my today’s wandering into the domain of AI. I then went onto to our men’s breakfast when the person leading our thoughts began with a quote: “Whatever controls us is our god” by Rebecca “Reba” Manley. I thought to enquire of AI about the origin, meaning and application of the quote and what AI told me was helpfully informative and it even tried to relate its answer to our early Q&A session.

When I shared this finding, one person challenged me on my reliance on AI, which could turn out to be our god/idol. I acknowledged this and made the point that the Beast system described in Revelation 13 quite likely employs AI. Yet AI much more often than not comes up with the goods. The question I asked AI prior to my nice/not-nice question was a rather nerdy one concerning football. It gave me the answer I was looking for – in a few seconds rather than several minutes if I had researched the answer using by other means. Caution certainly but I can’t help thinking of William Booth, founder of the Salvation Army, often quoted as saying: “Why should the devil have all the best tunes?”