Chapter 44: What I would like to say to the next generation

It was a little over five years ago when I blogged concerning my list of what I would say to members of the next generation by way of words of advice of how to live a fuller, more productive life and not making the same mistakes I have. A lot has happened since then including views on life. I am continuing to learn and recognise I still have a long way to go learning important lesson. I thought in the spirit of passing words of wisdom to my readers and since we are considering stuff that could / should interest “A Priestly People”, I thought it a good idea to adapt what I wrote back then …

One of the things I have noticed about getting old is while faculties may be in decline, compared with yesteryear, one would have picked up a lot in the years preceding concerning how best to live one’s life and contribute to the common good, which if these lessons had been taken on board earlier could have lessened my own pain and I could have made an even bigger difference when it came to doing good in the world. Not that one we turn the clocks back or expect a sympathetic audience, but we can pass on the wisdom we have learned to those who come after us, although this is best done by setting an example and gently encouraging others rather than bludgeon one’s thoughts regardless whether or not listeners are interested. In no particular order, what follows are some of the lessons I have learned and am still learning that I would like to pass on to the next generation, especially any young person who will give me an ear, bearing in mind my experience is not the same as others, and those who we may want to encourage will operate in different circumstances, and will have different abilities and interests, and different hopes and aspirations. I am also mindful this is not a definitive list and others might add suggestions which are also of value. Some of the lessons learned have been painful ones, yet as I look back I can see the benefits, not least being able to help others.

1. Being kind is more important than being successful
2. As a youngster, the qualities of kindness, faithfulness and godliness would have been low down in the list of those things that I valued; these days they are near the very top
3. It is better to give than to receive; to serve than be served and be like the Unprofitable Servant Jesus talked about in parables
4. Honour your mother and father; love your spouse
5. Remember the poor and those who cannot give back what you might have given to them
6. Be someone who doesn’t just say you are going to do something but you do what you say
7. Look after your health – physical, mental, and spiritual
8. Set boundaries – work, family, friendships and, while we are it, any other relationship
9. Having good character is better than having good anything else; and being honourable is worthwhile even if it costs you
10. Rather than try to be seen as one who does good, better to do good when no one sees it
11. Deferred gratification generally reaps benefits in the long run
12. There is a case to keep our own counsel and when we do speak to first ask the questions: is it true; is it necessary and is it kind?
13. Nothing is for certain in this life (except death and taxes)
14. Things rarely stay the same in this life; be prepared for change, ever ready to adapt
15. Life really is short – ask any oldie; most will clearly recall their vigorous youth
16. Value your loved ones while they are still alive (and let them know you do)
17. The things that are most precious in life are invariably the simplest and are often free
18. Good manners costs little and invariably reap dividends
19. Don’t be a respecter of persons; whether their status is high or low; all deserve our respect
20. Try to learn practical skills; you never know when they will come in useful
21. Never look down on those whose giftings and interests are more practical than intellectual. I have discovered the older I get the value of the contributions such folk are able to make
22. The vagaries of life are such that one day you may be rich, the next day poor; you may be well, the next day sick; you are the one to go to for advice, the next day no-one wants to know; you are honoured and recognised, the next day ignored; you are alive, the next day you are dead; moreover, eternity is a long time and you do well to prepare for it
23. Get a well-rounded education, even though a lot of it may be indoctrination; observe and read widely; keep learning right up to the end, realising even then you will know just a little; and whatever your learning level try to use your abilities to contribute for the common good
24. Develop a career and ideally one you can do best in and if it benefits others that is a bonus, mindful better still if we help others in life
25. Start to invest in the future, including financially – remember the maxim “earn all you can, save all you can, and give all you can”
26. Follow your dreams but don’t ignore the realities of the present
27. The world can be said to be divided into three groups: fools, villains and the good guys (or mixtures thereof) and who can be sure which is which
28. When I was young, I broadly believed what politicians, media and the elites told me; but I don’t anymore and given that is the case I need to respond accordingly
29. The more I see, the more I am convinced the world is run by bad people under the control of Satan; making it necessary not only that we recognise this but finding ways to overcome
30. Recognise little is what it seems and you will likely be biased anyway, even inadvertently, and as you may not possess all the facts you do well to be circumspect when making judgments
31. Try to understand the other person’s point of view, even if you disagree, for you might still learn something; try to live in peace
32. Everyone is on a journey, even those who are disagreeable, so be careful not to judge prematurely those we might take exception to, especially when not knowing all the facts
33. There will be times you feel hard done by, but some are worse off than you and life is not fair
34. Take each day as it comes; make the most of it; don’t dwell on the past or put off until tomorrow what should be done today
35. Learn to be humble and avoid being proud, for pride does come before a fall, and if you do fall you can be picked up and then it is the time to take stock and move on
36. Try to complete the tasks that you have begun
37. Learn to forgive others – you will be unjustly dealt with in life and let down by those you least expect, but it is better to forgive than carry an unforgiving burden
38. Learn to forgive yourself – you will make mistakes, sometimes big ones – try to see these as opportunities to grow and to keep pressing on to realise your life’s goals
39. See all of life as a learning curve; learn from the past and use the lessons you learn in the process to help prepare for the future
40. Triumph and disaster (and who can say what will come next) are two imposters to be treated just the same
41. Be happy, but holiness should be sought after ahead of happiness
42. Memorise the Bible – the fount of so much true wisdom
43. Learn to love God – therein lies the secret to what truly matters; reflect how wonderful it is to be a child of God, loved by Him. His desire is toward you, even when you have blown it
44. Remember the other great command is to love your neighbour, whoever he/she is
45. Better to fear God rather than fear man; stop trying to please man but rather focus your efforts on pleasing God
46. Cultivate a spirit of thankfulness rather than that of complaint
47. Hang ups, hurts, disappointments and failures will come to us all but we do well not to dwell on them and to move on, for if you are a Christian, you are part of God’s new creation
48. Things are often not what they seem, so learn to question (almost) everything and not to be taken in, even if your information / perception source appears ever so credible.
49. I long learned the truth of Murphy’s law: anything that can go wrong will go wrong and not to assume anything and, having seen it played out on countless occasions, I have concluded that while we may hope for the best we must also prepare for the worst
50. “Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth, while the evil days come not, nor the years draw nigh, when thou shalt say, I have no pleasure in them” Ecclesiastes 12:1