My testimony by John Barber

Yesterday, me and my wife had the privilege of sharing our testimonies in our church (Providence Chapel). What follows is the transcript of what I had prepared before saying what I said:

Thank you for giving us this opportunity to share our testimonies. In mine, I would like to focus on three aspects of my life: how I became a Christian, how I met Jolly and meeting today’s challenges.

I grew up in the newly built Blenheim Park council estate, during the 50’s and 60’s. My parents might be described as nominal Christians but they insisted that me and my sister attend Sunday School held at the nearby Blenheim School. It was led by a formidable headmistress, Doris Rafan, helped by her mostly spinster assistants. Miss Rafan was strict but had a heart of gold, for she loved the Lord, the children and what was to be a recurring theme throughout my life, the Bible, which she taught well.

When aged 12, we moved to the east side of Southend. It happened that the parents of a boy in my class at school attended Coleman Street Gospel Hall (later renamed Chapel and which now hosts the Potters House). Around aged 13 or 14, my class mate invited me to the Covenanter group held at the Hall. Covenanters combined Bible Class and Youth Club activity and was led by Bryn Jones, who had been an army sergeant during the War. I was a somewhat disruptive influence and by rights I should have been expelled from the group but Mr Jones believed the Lord had told him that he needed to persist with me. When aged 15, I attended a Christian youth camp in Dorset. It was there I became a Christian. This was in 1966 and it was during the week the English football team won the World Cup.

I then became involved with the Chapel throughout the rest of my schooling, when home from university and college and during my first career, which was as a teacher. While the Chapel had its funny ways, I recognised that many of its members were committed to faithfully following the Lord, were resolved to fully understanding the Bible, and were intent on preaching the gospel and in home and overseas mission, all which became defining factors in my own Christian journey. One significant occurrence upon leaving school was my joining Operation Mobilisation for its summer crusade.    

In 1977, I moved from Southend to Poole in order to pursue my second career, which was that as a software engineer. I joined Longfleet Baptist Church where I was actively involved in its youth work: Bible class, youth clubs and Boys Brigade. In 1983, I moved back to Southend for a new job and to be near my widowed mum. Before that, I indulged my passion as a world traveller. I decided to do India! I recall the culture shock upon arriving at Bombay airport in the middle of the night: the humid heat, the smells and grime, the sight of seeing many living on the streets next to opulent looking housing – but I was to fall in love with a land I found to be of great contrasts, which became my second home.

I was faced soon upon arrival with making what was a momentous decision, whether to continue my travels by taking a train heading north or to head south. I decided on south and after a two-day train journey ended up in Trivandrum city. I had been given the address of the brother of the husband of a friend of a friend and arrived at his doorstep and was invited to stay. Soon after, an eccentric livewire, named Varghese Matthai, turned up at the house. I found he was a Brethren evangelist. I told him of my plans to explore India, ideally off the tourist trail, and I let it be known that I was a Christian who had Brethren roots. He invited me to stay with him in his village some 30 miles away and I accepted.

Visiting his humble home felt a bit like going back in time. There was, for example, no electricity and few of the amenities we take for granted here. It felt like I was the first white man to set foot in his village. I was treated with splendid hospitality and my host became a great encourager and friend. I appreciated the simplicity of village life, for it seemed the people often had what really mattered. I got to meet many people, helped by those who could translate for me. My evangelist host even got me preaching in the open air. After staying a few days, I continued on my journey to explore India, guided by a friend of my host. I was to return to India many times after that and got involved in preaching and teaching activities. Some years later, I was to marry Jolly, the daughter of my host.

When I moved back to Southend, I continued to work as a software engineer, including running my own business for 12 years. I also rejoined Coleman Street Chapel and helped in its preaching and teaching activities, serving as an elder and missionary secretary. During that time Jolly came to Southend and we married. Soon after the turn of the millennium, I embarked on my third career – that as a community worker with a particular interest working with Southend’s diverse community and in the areas of mental health and homelessness. My mantra was “Wherefore Jesus also, that he might sanctify the people with his own blood, suffered without the gate. Let us go forth therefore unto him without the camp, bearing his reproach.” Hebrews 13:12,13. I felt it right to engage with the wider community for the sake of the common good, noting how often Christians, when doing so, compromise on matters concerning true faith and me needing and not always finding a right balance.

Regarding this text, I had in mind not just Jesus suffering outside the city gates for our sins, the only way any of us can to be reconciled to a holy God, but also that of the High Priest, who on the Day of Atonement, took two goats, drawing lots as to which would be sacrificed and which set free. One goat was killed and its blood was sprinkled on the Mercy Seat situated inside the Holy of Holies. The other, the Scapegoat, was released into the wilderness having first had hands laid on it by the High Priest, transferring the sins of people. I felt my calling was both to go inside the veil and outside the camp in my service down below, describing myself as a “gospel preaching, community activist”. I later added the term “watchman on the wall”, taking up Jesus’ call to watch and pray. These are Last Days and the people of God are being deceived, and we need to be warned and prepare for Jesus Coming.     

Around 10 years ago, it was decided to close the work at Coleman Street Chapel. We needed to find somewhere else in order to fellowship. It eventually came down to a two horse-race, with me and our then 15-year-old son assigned to checking out each candidate. One fellowship lost out because it was too happy clappy (for Matthew) and too lightweight in its preaching (for me). It all then came down to Providence, which got Matthew’s thumbs up, partly as it was closer to what he was used to and because he had good memories when he attended the Bible club that Roger led, when he was a junior. It got my approval as I was quite taken with Roger’s expository, forensic preaching approach (he had just begun a 2+ year journey on the Book of James). I knew Ray who sometimes preached at Coleman Street and remembered Providence’s strictness and its own set of funny ways back in my youth when I was at school with Pastor Tait’s son. But I could see at Providence three qualities that in my dotage I have come to realise are particularly important: kindness, godliness and faithfulness. In the end, it was a unanimous family decision and we joined Providence, and we are still here today!

I want to end by reflecting on the question “what about now”? and want to consider a song, another inspirational text (and here we are spoiled for choice) and finish up with a final song. My first song is neither Christian nor theologically sound yet, besides liking the song, some of its lyrics resonate with me, especially as the one who is singing it and myself see ourselves as coming to the end of our lives and we are both wanting to look back on what we have done in our lives. The song is “My Way”, made famous by Frank Sinatra. One phrase stood out: “Regrets, I’ve had a few but then again too few to mention”. Here I disagree, as naturally speaking I have too many regrets. While I have been let down, ridiculed, hurt etc. by some, my biggest regret is not responding as I ought and not allowing God to do His work in me, making me the person He wants me to be, and not making the most of the opportunities that have come my way. The other stand out phrase in the song is “I did it my way”. Due to my own make up and circumstances and not wanting to follow the herd, I often tried to do things my way. While God has given us freedom of choice and we differ in temperaments, giftings and circumstances, I can now reflect often my way was not always the best or how God intended and it would have been better if I had done things God’s way, yet finding God has always been faithful.

But there is good news – and it is what the Gospel we preach is all about. Ever since Genesis 1:1, God has been in the creation business. While humankind has mucked up God’s wonderful creation by sin, we read “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation; To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation. Now then we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God did beseech you by us: we pray you in Christ’s stead, be ye reconciled to God. For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him” 2 Corinthians 6:17-21.

It means I can put aside regrets because I am God’s new creation. Besides which, I have found that even though we might have failed Him who matters most in the past, God’s purposes are greater and especially is His grace. As the hymn writer put it: “God works in mysterious ways”. As Paul wrote: “by God’s grace, I am what I am”.  He can use any one of us if we let Him. As for the right or wrong way, I will let God and others be the judge of what I have done in the past but, as for now onwards, I must prioritise “the ministry of reconciliation” and being “an ambassador for Christ”. Two lovely thoughts arise out of this: it ought to free us from distractions and from caring too much what others think.

I come now to my final song. I first heard it sung at the Christian camp at the time I was saved.

I have decided to follow Jesus;

I have decided to follow Jesus;

I have decided to follow Jesus;

No turning back, no turning back.

Tho’ none go with me, I still will follow,

Tho’ none go with me I still will follow,

Tho’ none go with me, I still will follow;

No turning back, no turning back.

The world behind me, the cross before me,

The world behind me, the cross before me;

The world behind me, the cross before me;

No turning back, no turning back.

It was sometimes sung in Christian services I attended in the UK and India, for it was in India the song originated. The words “I have decided to follow Jesus”, “Tho’ none go with me, I still will follow” and “The world behind me, the cross before me” were coined by a missionary whose endeavours in a remote tribal area, preaching the Gospel, resulted in several souls saved, much to the consternation of the tribal chief. The missionary was brought before the chief, who threatened to have him killed, but offered to spare his life and those of his family, but only if he undertook to stop preaching and to renounce Christ. These words were his response and as a result that threat was carried out.

One of my favourite films is “It’s a Wonderful Life”. The hero was George Bailey, who had come to the end of his tether, wished he hadn’t been born and wanted to end it all. It took an angel to show George how things would have been if he hadn’t been born because, through his persistence, he was able to do a great deal of good, helping many. In the few days that remain for me, what truly matters is to make a positive difference and doing what the words of this song says I ought to be doing.